Upcoming Events with Rob

February 8, 2006 Rob will present two free Florida seminars, Better Communication All Around at the Marco Island branch of Collier Library, 210 South Heathwood Drive at 2 pm, and Compassionate Listening: An Introductory, Experiential, Interactive Workshop at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation, 6340 10th Ave SW in Naples from 7-9 pm. Email or call Rob at 617-491-8939.
Part of the "Where in the World is Rob Kanzer?" series.

Special heartfelt appreciation to Bronwyn Jones and Tegan DeClark of OnMarco.com for their generous hospitality and sponsorship.

In the earlier years of my coaching practice, I used to insist that people only speak in the positive voice. After all if we think and speak and phrase things in the positive, we're more likely to get what we want. But lately I've come to understand that some people, sometimes get energized by opposing the positive aspect.

"I'm not going to do that"
"You're not the boss of me"
"I'm so stupid"
"I don't see myself ever being rich"

This is where an essential aspect of coaching may come into play. I do not speak. I listen, and allow the "tension to make itself known".

Sometimes when a person hears how insistent they are in demanding the negative rule, they see how they are "being their own worst enemy' and shift out into a more productive posture.

"I'm going to take these next steps."
"You've helped me consider some of my options."
"I'm new to this and learning a lot"
"I am open to the possibility of living happily and abundantly."

I like to call this a Polar Flip or Boomerang Present - the antithesis of an idea as a way of catapulting forward.

And - sometimes the negative "stays negative" and we feel stuck: we can call this the Polar Flop or Boo Rang Peasant.

Whatever we call it, it's important to notice how we think and work. Do you sense the distinctions in your own thinking and speaking?

Is there a way in which you are so clear about what you don't want that it accelerates you in the exact direction you do want to go? Yes? Good.

You have successfully Leveraged the Negative. And that's Positive.

So, I'm not 49 any more - I'm still irrepressible, irreverant, and er ... irresponsible , young at heart.

I take Glucomsamine Chondroitin, Multivitamins, Kaprex, MSM and often forget what they do. I often find a mess in my car or in my home.

I am grateful for small fortunes:

I have not yet put toothpaste in my hair while showering nor I have I enclosed any utility payment checks in birthday cards I have mailed to loved ones.

The voice inside the man at 50 reminds me to ask, "how shall I live with integrity today and how can I continue to serve as an inspiration to others?"

Smile.

Volunteer time with my cousin Mark who has muscular dystrophy.

Be engaged in safe and magnificent conversations with you.